The Cure for Anxiety

What emotions do you have when you think of your finances? This is an interesting question when we take time to be really honest with ourselves. I have asked this question to numerous clients and the responses have taken two clear paths.

The first path is clients who will very quickly say things like “Oh, I’m not worried about money.” Or, “I know we will be OK.” or “God has always provided.” And even, “Money isn’t that important to me.”

However, as we go deeper into the conversation or to our relationship, I learn more. Several have shared about difficulties with finances in their past. I have heard regret shared over how they have managed resources in the past. I have heard stories from clients about losing their family home when they were children because it was foreclosed by their parents’ lender. I’ve heard stories of clients as children taking the collection phone calls for their parents’ and covering (lying) for them.

These same clients who quickly shared they have no anxiety (worry) when it comes to money are also the clients who check account balances daily, or in some cases several times a day. They are stressed by every political, economic, medical event that occurs.

All of these reactions are normal for us for how our emotions are wired. Whenever anything occurs even remotely similar to a past trauma or feels like a threat, our amygdala is fired into fight, flight or freeze responses.

The second path is clients who answer by saying statements like “Oh, I have more than I need.” Or, “It’s not really mine.” or “I’m only managing this money for someone else.”

Going further into conversations and relationships with these clients, I learn that they have lived in a state of abundance and not scarcity. They have a security that the first client examples do not.

What may surprise you is that the difference in net worth between these clients has no bearing on how they respond. I know it surprised me earlier in my career. I have had clients with great wealth that were not at peace and clients with modest wealth who were at peace. I’ve also had clients who had great wealth with peace and clients with modest wealth with no peace.

The difference that I have observed in my clients and in my own heart is where we are placing our trust. This is more than what our head or intellect tells us what we are trusting in. We may be like the first group of clients who can confidently say they are not trusting in money. What I am referring to is what our heart is saying. We ultimately know what our heart is saying by our actions and our emotions.

I love and hold fast to the truths found in this passage in Matthew when I find my heart placing trust in the wrong things.

Matthew 6:25-34

“This is why I tell you: Don’t worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Isn’t life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the sky: They don’t sow or reap or gather into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Aren’t you worth more than they? Can any of you add a single cubit to his height by worrying? And why do you worry about clothes? Learn how the wildflowers of the field grow: they don’t labor or spin thread. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was adorned like one of these! If that’s how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and thrown into the furnace tomorrow, won’t he do much more for you–you of little faith? So don’t worry, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or “What will we drink?’ or “What will we wear?’ For the idolaters eagerly seek all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be provided for you. Therefore don’t worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

What does this passage tell us about who God is?

It tells us that God is our Father. I don’t know about you but I love how frequently Jesus calls God our Father. It tells how caring God is. It tells us of His power to provide and His attention to His creation even for the wildflowers and the birds. He knows what we need. He provides.

What does this passage tell us about what God does?

He is THE Great Provider. He is involved. He is active, not passive. He values us above all creation. He cares for our needs. He knows us.

What does this passage tell us about who we are?

We are beloved sons and daughters. We have great worth and value. We have needs and that’s OK.

What does this passage tell us about what we do?

We trust God, our perfect gift giving Father to provide for us. We find our peace in resting in His provision. We find our security in His love and care for us. We focus on God’s Kingdom and His perfect nature. We stay in the present. We stay focused on what God is doing today and what He is inviting us into today!

How do we put this into practice? How do we help change our hearts?

Be grounded in the truth of who God is, what He does and who you are! Those truths enable us to put this passage into practice and to live life to the fullest.

Some ways I have helped my heart be grounded include the following:

• Solitude: time alone with God in prayer and meditation. Giving the Holy Spirit the opportunity to speak.
• Praise list: write a praise list of all the ways you are able to recount the ways He has provided for you. These lists are so encouraging. What are you grateful for because it came from Him!
• Prayer: speak directly to Him about your worries and your doubts. Tell Him about your struggles to believe He will provide. He is big enough to take it and wants to lead you to the truth.
• Read: spend time in God’s Word!
• Music: listen to and sing along if you desire to praise and worship songs that remind you of the truths in this passage. Music cuts directly to our heart and is so helpful in processing our emotions.
• Speak: share with a close friend your worries and your doubts in God. It’s important this is another Christian who can help point you back to the truths about who God is, what He does and who you are. This is confession after all and we are promised healing when we confess.

I feel it's important to state that this passage is not against planning. This passage is not about irresponsibility with the resources God has given us. Jesus is not teaching us to be wasteful with what we have been provided because God will give us more. Jesus is focused on our hearts in this passage. He is focused on our anxiety and our worries.

One of the ways God provides for us is to provide more than we need so we are able to give and to save for future needs. You’ll know if your priorities are getting out of alignment with seeking His Kingdom first. Your behaviors and emotions will inform you of where your heart is. Do you hold your plans with open hands? Do you surrender what you want to happen to His will? Answering those questions will help guide you on where your heart is. It helps me know where mine is!